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> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> To the citizens of the United States of America,
>
> In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
> govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> independence, effective today Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
> will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
> territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime
> minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, PM for the 97.85% of you who have
> until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will
> appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next
> year to determine whether any of you noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you
> should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
> "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
noises such
> as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. Look up "interspersed".
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
> on your behalf.
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
> It really isn't that hard.
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
> the good guys.
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
> to get confused and give up half way through.
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
> of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very
> good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside
> your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
> You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
> football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It
> is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
> to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
> involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar
> body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US
rugby
> sevens side by 2005.
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
> if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
> there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
> Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
> national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
> Day".
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
> your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
> we mean.
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>
chivas 93TT
Stage II and then some..
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